The perversion of public leakers

Kelly Martin (who, in retrospect, does not seem to be redeemed at all) has blogged that a certain deranged and disgruntled demon has had his access to the #admin IRC channel revoked—and for good reason. This unholy monster, bound to serve his masters at Wikipedia Ruiners and Wikipedia-Watch, is a known public leaker.

First, he leaked IRC conversations and emails in an attempt to discredit the great Wikipedian hero, Erik Möller. That post is clearly an attempt to save face for maliciously banning our beacon of light! Many great Wikipedians fought the evil Goliath and in the end, David won. Get over it! Later, he exposed that Jimmy Wales wanted to buy his wife a gold plated washing machine (or something like that, I refuse to read gossip blogs). His passion for public leaking not yet appeased, he outted the Myers-Briggs personality types of Wikimedia staff. What is a lonely INTJ to do, in such a situation? Did that bellyaching malcontent Danny even consider the feelings of the solitary INTJ? I guess he just gets off on exposing others' personality types. How would he like it if we exposed his Astrological sign or his life path number? I assume he would be none too pleased; therefore, he should be unsurprised that he was unceremoniously thrown out of the friendly confines of #wikipedia-en-admins.

With this aberrant public leaker in mind, I am proposing that a policy is adopted for, at least, the English Wikipedia. WP:Ignore all leaks.

If a leak makes you nervous or depressed, assume the person is lying and ignore it.

These perverted public leakers are disrupting the populace, aggravating the leadership, and driving away potential donors. It is of moral importance to The Project to counter these public leakers. We have failed to convince the simple minded that these diabolic bigmouths are the disgruntled and satanic swine that they are. Nevertheless, do not attempt to counter their rancorous, illogical ramblings with astute and analytical observations! Follow the lead of one of our great leaders; respond by turning your back and ignoring.


We must give these gargoyles the cold-shoulder and not communicate with them at all. Do not even read their diseased “leaks”, for it will poison your mind! Reading their irrational words will equate you with these people that get their kicks from leaking in public. What would your mother think if she found out you were leaking in public? I suggest that she would not be happy and it may result in her defriending you on Myspace or refusing to bake you cookies. Won't you miss those neat chain letters she forwards you on myspace? I know I would. Don't you love your mother's fresh baked cookies? Of course you do. If you want to keep on enjoying your mother's chain letters and cookies, then do not support these leakers by leering upon them as they do their leaking.

If, by accident, you are afflicted and taken ill by the spectacle of these leakers leaking, there is one antidote that works well. I admit, I once goggled a leaker. Jimbo assured everyone it was a lie; yet, I was still distraught. After consulting with Wikimedia staff, I was informed that the only way to feel better was to Send Mo’ Money, which I did.

I am happy to report that I am feeling fine ever since. If you have failed at ignoring their disjointed debaucheries and witnessed one of these public leakings, I suggest you simply Donate More Money, as repentance. However, remember that it is your duty as a Good Wikipedian to not acknowledge these leaks or, if possible, know they exist! It is a distraction to our Great Mission.

Oh, by the way, now Danny is conspicuously drawing parallels between Jimmy Wales and the Birdman of Alcatraz. Yes Danny, we know you would love to send our Dear Leader and his lovely beard to Alcatraz, where he would adopt a baby sparrow he found in the exercise yard. Get off it, man! Go to the beach or something; maybe you will de-gruntle yourself…

Yours faithfully,

The Wiki Defender
Defending the Wiki and ignoring all leaks

Kelly Martin redeemed

The trolls tried to run me off the internet for good, but after the vast amounts of support I received, I have reconsidered. There is too much important work to do and Kelly Martin has impressed me very much over the past few days. She is willing to call a spade a spade and point out what these hatemongers actually are...

They are murderous Klansmen.

If you are being called a Klansmen and do not like it, then do not act like a torch wielding racists, out to satisfy their blood lust by executing an innocent man! As I read that eloquent post by Kelly Martin, I was overcome with so much joy and satisfaction that I stood and applauded at my computer screen. My dog, intuitively knowing that another blow has been delivered to the cyber terroists, barked at as I applauded, apparently agreeing with me. The barking disturbed my neighbors, but once I explained to them the beautiful post Ms. Martin had written they understood and suggested I get some sleep, saying I looked a bit stressed out.

I must commend Doc glasgow as well, for he made very many important points all over that thread, including pointing out that banning a person from Wikipedia is equivalent to killing them. Later, a politically correct and troll enabling host, CComMack, expressed his disdain for truth and his alignment with trolls. Now the xenophobic and intolerant mob are trying to satisfy their lethal thirsts and are circling the wagons around these two peerless Wikipedians.

But, all in all, this is very good news. Kelly had worried me recently, for she has fallen for many of the harassment memes that trolls spread, but in one comment, she has redeemed herself in the eyes of the silent majority. Now, we must convince her to disown that abusive and deranged Disgruntled Employee, Danny.

I am glad to see Kelly come back from the dark side, at least momentarily, and am wondering what others think.