18 March 2008

All good things must come to an end…

After posting this message of support to Tony Sidaway’s user page, I headed out for a relaxing trip to the organic food store. As soon as I arrived back at my home and looked at my computer in the corner, fear and panic gripped me. There was a hideous stench coming from my email inbox and I knew the smell very well: it was the stink of trolls.

Obviously, these net kooks were now aware of my existence and they conscripted their highly paid private detectives and hacker friends to find my email. I did not anticipate this unintended consequence. The first email I opened, probably written by a paid stalker, said this:

"if this blog is 4 srs then u r a dumbass and if it isnt then ur not funny

First of all, learn to capitalize and use proper words. I am an adult, I act like an adult, and I expect those who email me to speak like adults. Second, who is trying to be funny, jerkface? Yes, this blog is “4 srs”. Oh, and thanks for your blatant personal attack. Must I remind you of two core Wikipedian
policies, WP:NPA and WP:CIV? Make like a plane and take off, troll.

I read my inbox further. Though I received vast amounts of support for standing up against these hatemongers, there were also some hideous threats of violence against my person and my home. One person said that if he (I assume it was a he, most stalkers are men) found out who I was that he would “pull my pants down in public”. A particularly devilish freedom hater mused on the idea of invading my home, saying:


This homicidal door knocking imagery was a little more than I could take. I started shaking uncontrollably and passed out in my computer chair for G-d knows how long. I awoke to my dog licking my face, apparently empathizing with my stalking ordeal. I was still a bit woozy; nevertheless, I was determined to find out where these trolls were learning about my blog.

I knew that they had to learn about it in one of three places: The Wikipedia Ruiners, Wikipedia-Stalk, or Antifreecontent.net. I have all three of these sites blocked so that they are inaccessible from my home, so I had to access them elsewhere. These trolls review their referrer logs daily to find new targets of harassment and I was not about to be found out that easily. This in mind, I frantically loaded up my Volkswagen and put my dog in the back seat and we drove 5 hours away from my home to access a computer at a public library in an undisclosed location.

We arrived at the public library five hours and several bathroom breaks later. I ran inside and dove for a computer. The first site checked, Wikipedia-Stalk, showed its usual debauchery but nothing new. Antifreecontent.net had its disgusting smears against great editors, but nothing about my blog. That left one more site: Wikipedia Ruiners.

And there it was in all its glory--a thread started by none other than that disgusting troll dtobias. Other sociopaths commented and speculated on my identity with reckless abandon. One suggested that I am a fifteen year old and another pondered about what my first sexual experience was like and if I was sexy (it is written in code only decipherable by fellow trolls). Several suggested that this very serious blog was a joke, which is an attempt to try to minimize my serious criticisms and character assassinate me.

By this time, I was shouting at the computer screen, enraged by the gall of these stalkers. Then, the librarian had the nerve to ask me to leave because I was disturbing people. I looked her square in the eye and said “DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE ENABLING THESE TROLLS TO RUN RAMPANT ALL OVER WIKIPEDIA??!?! WHAT ARE YOU A PAID OVERSTOCK EMPLOYEE??” She again told me I was disturbing people, but I was the only one there so I called her a liar. Feeling a conflict arising, I walked towards my car. However, per WP:SPADE, I called her a troll under my breath as I left. She responded by stalking me outside and wrote down my license plate number, which she will no doubt send to Daniel Brandt. Now I know why librarians do not like Wikipedia. They’re all trolls and troll enablers.

I feel as if it will only be moments until my birth certificate, baby foot print and all, will be posted on Wikipedia Review. That will only be the beginning. Then a jilted lover of mine will show up on Wikipedia Review after googling my name and talk to the miscreants about my many sexual proclivities and inadequacies. Perhaps when they are bored with that they will use my social security number to get credit cards and buy odd sexual devices just to embarrass me. And on...And on...And on...

I share this story because I have had numerous health concerns ever since these cyber terrorists started in full force. My stomach churns day and night and I am suffering from a stomach ulcer. My dog and I just got back home from our 10 hour round trip and mental collapse is very probable. I am still agitated about the threat of pants violence and am contemplating whether or not I can handle another aggressive knock and run performed by a MyWikiBiz sockpuppet. At this point, I wonder if this blog is really worth devoting my time to, as I do not want my mental and physical health to suffer.

All great things must come to an end. We have had a great run, friends, and this blog has enlightened many. Keep up the good fight. Please follow our noble leaders Tony Sidaway and JzG, for they know the way, and they will take our Wiki out of the hands of eschatological cyber terrorists from Wikipedia Review. The silent majority stands with them.

The Wikimedia Foundation has left me for dead on the side of the road, bleeding out of every orifice as the cyber terrorists close in on me. Criminally insane scum bags have defeated Wikipedia
and the Wiki Defender. Good luck to you all.

PS: I noticed that Tony accidentally removed my message of support without commenting. That sort of thing happens when you deal with trolls all day long and no one should read very much into that action.


RDH(Ghost In The Machine) said...

But WikiDefender, with you gone who will defend Wiki?!

Remember the inspiring words of the holy Martyr St. Essjay, who when confronted by the pagan hordes defiantly wrote:

"There are a number of trolls, stalkers, and psychopaths who wander around Wikipedia and the other Wikimedia projects looking for people to harass, stalk, and otherwise ruin the lives of (several have been arrested over their activities here)...You will eventually say something that will lead back to you, and the stalkers will find it...I decided to be myself, to never hide my personality, to always be who I am, but to utilize disinformation with regard to what I consider unimportant details: age, location, occupation, etc..."


If you leave now, the terrorist trolls will have won!

Anonymous said...

In other words, you've run out of material. And so quickly.

Now there's a surprise.

You Know Who

Anonymous said...

I think 2:51 may be on to something; surely there's plenty more stuff you could use if you spent a while thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

Wiki-Defender has been a fabulous asset to this encyclopedia, hardworking, dedicated. loyal, patriotic and obviously wants the best for this project. Unfortunately, he's burned out. He has done more than maybe a handful of other defenders in keeping psychotic real trolls, death-pushers, science murderers and the gays at bay for many many months. After enduring and combating that for so long, it is not surprising that his good faith is badly bruised. After seeing so much malicious nazi behavior, it is not easy to tell friend from foe, to tell a genuine grievance from hate. But we need our defenders to be more calm, more willing to ignore insults and more skilled in defusing conflicts.

I wish we could find a way to keep our best users without burning them out, but for now I think the best we can do is to tell Wiki-Defender the truth: You need a break. I urge you to ignore all the silliness on Wikipedia and remember that it is just some website that informs the world. Take a long, well deserved vacation, go out and be with your family, eat five vegetables a day, learn how to knit. In a few years, no one will remember any of the conflicts but the love Wikipedia represents is forever.

Anonymous said...

Pssst... Wiki-Defender, we heard about the hateful harassment at your blog. We invite you to our Sekrit Cyberstalking Camp this Easter. It's nothing special, just a few of us victims of evil cyber-stalking get together to share each others painful stories. Then we collate millions of pieces of personal data on the whole community to ascertain who needs to be "silenced" and who is "our friend". Together we can beat this menace of cyberstalking.

If you are interested, knock three times at the door of our bunker. We'll all be wearing hoods and robes, but trust us. We care about you. And we love you. Over and out!

Signed: Sekrit Cyberstalking Gang

Gregory Kohs said...

Wiki Defender, don't you even think about going to Alexandria. One of my PAID CONTENT WRITERS will have a jihad of a good time with you, you infidel free-wiki-culture-love freak.

Anonymous said...

If a Werewolf is eating
someone's fingers right
in front of you, you have a
responsibility to do
something about it, and
if you don't do a damn thing,
that makes you an accomplice.

Wikidefender, you are an
apologist for Werewolves
who threaten to eat peoples
fingers. You are evil.

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