27 March 2008
Some of you may recall that I retired from blogging—about 3 hours ago. However, the emotion-filled responses I received convinced me to continue, as did the reemergence of a notorious troll. Giano is a blight on our Great Wiki. It is time to purge him and his petulance from our community; now is our chance and we must seize the opportunity.
Nevertheless, realize that the trolls will crawl out from under their rocks and will not make it easy. For example, it should be no surprise to you, dear reader, that the same people that advocated the execution of an innocent man are now supporting a virulent disease-spreading beast.
This reprobate started his troll binge by berating FloNight with bizarre hate speech. Recall that FloNight, as Thatcher aptly points out, lacks male genitalia. Is the targeting of Flo a coincidence? Do you really believe that Giano asked her about the IRC admins channel because of supposed "assurances" she had made, or does it have more to do with her lack of a penis? The answer is clear to every non-troll reading. Undeniably, this is more evidence that Giano is an out-of-control-creature, motivated to destroy our collegiate atmosphere and spread his hate-filled misogyny to all corners of our Sacred Wikipedia. Thatcher, an important Arbcom clerk and checkuser, agrees with me. 'Nuff said.
Accordingly, in a subsequent discussion, many noted his obscene trolling; however, FT2 took the lead in supplying the diffs, proving beyond a reasonable doubt that Giano is King of the Trolls.
In this one, he is defending our Dear Leader, but he also says the F-word, something no honorable Wikipedian would say. Here, he suggests that Flo may have had a stroke and lost her ability to speak (this could also be a threat). Oh, but the troll has not finished! After hoping that Flo had a stroke, he said that she should be paralyzed! Giano is certainly implying that Flo contracted a neuromuscular disease when he started posting on her talk page. Is that the daydreaming of a demented troll or a threat from the criminally insane? Whatever the answer, this troll is begging for a blocking. He later threatened to pull out all of Ryan Postlethwaite's teeth, which is a particularly despicable threat, since Ryan has a gorgeous smile. FT2 saw these comments exactly as I saw them: pure, unadulterated incivility. Back at the hideout, Giano winks and nods to his fellow trolls, high fives them and generally has a merry time. Although, he did let it slip that he speaks German, a known character trait of ripened and repugnant rascals.
Thank goodness that FT2 (a very concise and clear communicator) blocked Giano for all of his treachery, just as we would any schoolchild vandal. The brainless and obtuse made arguments like, “but he is one of the best writers we have, surely there is another way to deal with this!” and “his commitment to the project cannot be questioned, wah, wah, wah, I’m a crybaby!” These are the imbecilic comments of ignorant people. If the imbeciles’ statements are true, then why does he set his sights on the Cathedral of Wikipedia, where our most respected leaders congregate? He is clearly a heretic and an inciter of Wiki-violence, attempting to induce fear, uncertainty, and doubt at every opportunity. The way to deal with this revolting insurrectionist is to shoot on site.
Why must we allow him to keep creating headaches for us? Is it all because of a few stupid articles that do not get half as many hits as the article about blowjobs? Is the content he provides really that important? Our readers do not seem to think so. It is time for a Great Leader, such as FT2, to tell him he can take all the architecture related crap that he writes and stick it where the sun don’t shine. Who gives a rats patooty about architecture anyway? There are certainly more important articles out there, zoophilia being one example.
It is the trick of the troll to question the perfection of our Wiki; Giano is a chief deceiver in this little game. All admins have a Jimbo given right to stay connected to the admin IRC channel for 4 weeks, 3 days, 52 minutes, and 18 seconds, non-stop. Giano wants to run rampant all over your Jimbo given rights. He wants to stop you from doing important things in the admins channel, like announcing that you’ll be right back because you are going to make a sandwich and complaining that your foot hurts. Yes, Giano wants to take this important medium away from you, so that he can head on back to the hideout and gloat about it with his clan of good time fun boys, while they utter obscene German phrases, such as “Leck mich im Arsch” (a catchphrase common among trolls).
What is more important, all that boring European poop that Giano types about day and night, or socializing on IRC? The answer is clear, trolls. However, just in case it isn’t, here’s a hint: this stupid place is surely not important. Why don't you work on something important, like the article about Labrador Receivers and the legality of having sex with them?
FT2, rid us of this brutal beast, for we have important things to do in our admins channel and this out-of-the-loop oaf is interfering. Fellow Wikipatriots, pray to the Wiki Gods! Pray that they grant strength to FT2, the fearless insurgent fighter, so he may toss out this tenacious troll forever.
Further, I issue a challenge to the malignant malcontent, Giano. Just before you were blocked, you referred to “logs” that some other baneful brute evidently passed on to you. FT2, sensing a field day for trolls, blocked you befittingly. You then made another terroristic threat, implying that FT2's noble action will not stop you from leaking these logs.
Normally, as a Good Wikipedian, I WP:Ignore all leaks. In spite my philosophy on leaks, I will make an exception in your case. Send those logs to me, Giano, or post them in the comments section of this blog and I will deconstruct the dossier and prove once and for all that the admins channel is not the den of iniquity that you describe; in fact, I will prove conclusively that it is entirely righteous and beyond reproach. I have it on good authority that the two most discussed topics, besides maintaining Wikipedia and keeping it troll free, are kittens and salt-cured meats—which, though I am allergic to cats and a vegetarian (meat is murder), are not controversial topics. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Your action or inaction in this matter will be telling. Put up or shut up, troll. Otherwise, make like a tire and hit the road! FT2 already showed you the door. Take a hint...
The Wiki Defender
*…doesn’t give a crap about architecture anyway*
This leaves me with egg on my face. A role model of mine once said that nobody bats .100. How true that is. For example, Mario Mendoza, after whom the Mendoza line was named, batted .198 in the 1979 season, but not .100. Not even the most seasoned sock/troll dick is expected to reach this unattainable goal. But should we quit, just because it is impossible for us to bat .100? Of course not. Our cause must march on.
However, it is time for you to pick up that fight.
My time here has come to an end. I am being sucked into every trap that these paid trolls lay for me and I may be doing more harm to our cause than good. You may recall that I quit before and came back (so what? A lot of people do that).
I am quitting again.
There is only one thing that can save me now and that is attention: massive amounts of it. Plead with me to keep blogging and foraging on, leaving a virtual blood trail of troll blood in my way has I deliver hard-hitting posts that cut to the quick of cantankerous cockpuppets that invade our Holy Wiki daily. Say things like, “Don’t let the trolls get you down” and “Fuck you Daniel Brandt for running off the best Wikipedia blogger that blogspot has ever seen and may you contract leprosy and lather yourself in honey and dive into an apiary.”
Your disingenuous and hollow pleas to a person you have never met and will never meet is my only hope. Help to keep Wiki Defender wasting his life blogging and make disingenuous pleas for me to stay, and maybe I will.
In other news, The Sloan Foundation has donated 3 million dollars to the Glorious Wikimedia Foundation, which guarantees that children in Africa will be afforded the opportunity to learn about butt harps, mammary intercourse, Cleveland steamers, soggy biscuits, ball locks, and, of course, rusty trombones.
This in mind, I post a celebratory youtube. It is titled “Holy Money” and is performed by Swans.
*note* Some have pointed out that this does not seem to be a celebratory song at all; they feel it is creepy and depressing. Another person suggested that drinking a bottle of cough syrup may correct this feeling, but I neither condone nor suggest you do this.
Farewell fellow Wiki Defenders,
The Wiki Defender
25 March 2008
This just in to The Wiki Defender: Sue Gardner, executive director of the Wikimedia Foundation, is possibly a contracted Wikipedia Reuiner/Wikipedia-watch mole, out to decimate Wikipedia and enslave us as minions to Daniel Brandt.
I know what you are thinking. “This is a serious, world changing revelation, Wiki Defender! Where is your evidence?”
Well friend, take 2 milligrams of Xanax, wait an hour, and feast your eyes upon this diff. I webcited it here, just in case the trolls have also schemed their way into the ranks of oversight.
Most disturbing is that the edit is to the User space of Deputy Director, Erik Möller. What are we to infer from this? Is she daring our darling deputy to come after her, or G-d forbid, is Erik also a paid troll? Are they both in cahoots with Daniel Brandt, plotting day and night on how to demolish our worshipful wiki?
Right now, I want to purchase a one-way plane ticket to San Francisco and lead an anti-cyberstalking revolutionary mob of Concerned Wikipedians into the offices of the Wikimedia Foundation to demand answers. It is taking all the self-control and prescription medications I have to prevent me from doing so. I need your help.
Please alert all Great Wikipatriots of this diabolical plan, mastered by a motley crew of trolls and stalkers! Shout it from the rooftops; forward this breaking news to the various cyberstalking lists we maintain to fight the trolls--tell the Father, The Son, The holy spirit and the Blessed Virgin, so that we may get to the bottom of this highly unsettling development.
What? You think I am over reacting? Well I think you are cyber terrorist troglodyte! In the off chance that you think I am over reacting and you are not a Wikipedia Review ruffian, allow me to explain:
Needless to say, providing links to harassment is detrimental and we must not appear as if we condone these attacks. It is clearly a blockable offense. This is a no brainer. There is never, ever, any reason to link to a vile hate site such as the one Ms. Gardner linked to. It sends a message that users may harass and stalk other users, post libel about them, take them on pleasure trips without their consent, contact their employers to call them off sick from work, feed their dogs Ex-Lax, knock on their doors and run at 11:00PM, and call their sick grandmother at 3:00AM to ask her if she has Prince Albert in a can, so long as they do it off-wiki.
Is that your position, Sue?
Do not sit idly by as the highest ranks of the WMF are infiltrated. Sue Gardner, Wikipedia is not here to make people sad. These are treacherous wiki times that we are wiki living in; even those who appear to be allies are turning out to be possible trolls. Someone please explain this situation to me, so that I can start working on getting butt harp to GA status. Godspeed to you all.
Heavily medicated yet frantic,
The Wiki Defender
*contemplating the fact that my siblings may be on the payroll of Daniel Brandt *
22 March 2008
Kelly Martin (who, in retrospect, does not seem to be redeemed at all) has blogged that a certain deranged and disgruntled demon has had his access to the #admin IRC channel revoked—and for good reason. This unholy monster, bound to serve his masters at Wikipedia Ruiners and Wikipedia-Watch, is a known public leaker.
First, he leaked IRC conversations and emails in an attempt to discredit the great Wikipedian hero, Erik Möller. That post is clearly an attempt to save face for maliciously banning our beacon of light! Many great Wikipedians fought the evil Goliath and in the end, David won. Get over it! Later, he exposed that Jimmy Wales wanted to buy his wife a gold plated washing machine (or something like that, I refuse to read gossip blogs). His passion for public leaking not yet appeased, he outted the Myers-Briggs personality types of Wikimedia staff. What is a lonely INTJ to do, in such a situation? Did that bellyaching malcontent Danny even consider the feelings of the solitary INTJ? I guess he just gets off on exposing others' personality types. How would he like it if we exposed his Astrological sign or his life path number? I assume he would be none too pleased; therefore, he should be unsurprised that he was unceremoniously thrown out of the friendly confines of #wikipedia-en-admins.
With this aberrant public leaker in mind, I am proposing that a policy is adopted for, at least, the English Wikipedia. WP:Ignore all leaks.
If a leak makes you nervous or depressed, assume the person is lying and ignore it.
These perverted public leakers are disrupting the populace, aggravating the leadership, and driving away potential donors. It is of moral importance to The Project to counter these public leakers. We have failed to convince the simple minded that these diabolic bigmouths are the disgruntled and satanic swine that they are. Nevertheless, do not attempt to counter their rancorous, illogical ramblings with astute and analytical observations! Follow the lead of one of our great leaders; respond by turning your back and ignoring.
We must give these gargoyles the cold-shoulder and not communicate with them at all. Do not even read their diseased “leaks”, for it will poison your mind! Reading their irrational words will equate you with these people that get their kicks from leaking in public. What would your mother think if she found out you were leaking in public? I suggest that she would not be happy and it may result in her defriending you on Myspace or refusing to bake you cookies. Won't you miss those neat chain letters she forwards you on myspace? I know I would. Don't you love your mother's fresh baked cookies? Of course you do. If you want to keep on enjoying your mother's chain letters and cookies, then do not support these leakers by leering upon them as they do their leaking.
If, by accident, you are afflicted and taken ill by the spectacle of these leakers leaking, there is one antidote that works well. I admit, I once goggled a leaker. Jimbo assured everyone it was a lie; yet, I was still distraught. After consulting with Wikimedia staff, I was informed that the only way to feel better was to Send Mo’ Money, which I did.
I am happy to report that I am feeling fine ever since. If you have failed at ignoring their disjointed debaucheries and witnessed one of these public leakings, I suggest you simply Donate More Money, as repentance. However, remember that it is your duty as a Good Wikipedian to not acknowledge these leaks or, if possible, know they exist! It is a distraction to our Great Mission.
Oh, by the way, now Danny is conspicuously drawing parallels between Jimmy Wales and the Birdman of Alcatraz. Yes Danny, we know you would love to send our Dear Leader and his lovely beard to Alcatraz, where he would adopt a baby sparrow he found in the exercise yard. Get off it, man! Go to the beach or something; maybe you will de-gruntle yourself…
The Wiki Defender
Defending the Wiki and ignoring all leaks
18 March 2008
They are murderous Klansmen.
If you are being called a Klansmen and do not like it, then do not act like a torch wielding racists, out to satisfy their blood lust by executing an innocent man! As I read that eloquent post by Kelly Martin, I was overcome with so much joy and satisfaction that I stood and applauded at my computer screen. My dog, intuitively knowing that another blow has been delivered to the cyber terroists, barked at as I applauded, apparently agreeing with me. The barking disturbed my neighbors, but once I explained to them the beautiful post Ms. Martin had written they understood and suggested I get some sleep, saying I looked a bit stressed out.
I must commend Doc glasgow as well, for he made very many important points all over that thread, including pointing out that banning a person from Wikipedia is equivalent to killing them. Later, a politically correct and troll enabling host, CComMack, expressed his disdain for truth and his alignment with trolls. Now the xenophobic and intolerant mob are trying to satisfy their lethal thirsts and are circling the wagons around these two peerless Wikipedians.
But, all in all, this is very good news. Kelly had worried me recently, for she has fallen for many of the harassment memes that trolls spread, but in one comment, she has redeemed herself in the eyes of the silent majority. Now, we must convince her to disown that abusive and deranged Disgruntled Employee, Danny.
I am glad to see Kelly come back from the dark side, at least momentarily, and am wondering what others think.
Obviously, these net kooks were now aware of my existence and they conscripted their highly paid private detectives and hacker friends to find my email. I did not anticipate this unintended consequence. The first email I opened, probably written by a paid stalker, said this:
"if this blog is 4 srs then u r a dumbass and if it isnt then ur not funny
First of all, learn to capitalize and use proper words. I am an adult, I act like an adult, and I expect those who email me to speak like adults. Second, who is trying to be funny, jerkface? Yes, this blog is “4 srs”. Oh, and thanks for your blatant personal attack. Must I remind you of two core Wikipedian policies, WP:NPA and WP:CIV? Make like a plane and take off, troll.
I read my inbox further. Though I received vast amounts of support for standing up against these hatemongers, there were also some hideous threats of violence against my person and my home. One person said that if he (I assume it was a he, most stalkers are men) found out who I was that he would “pull my pants down in public”. A particularly devilish freedom hater mused on the idea of invading my home, saying:
"IMAGINE THAT YOU ARE LAYING IN BED WATCHING JAY LENO AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU HEAR A KNOCK ON THE DOOR! YOU GET UP TO CHECK THE DOOR BUT NO ONE IS STANDING THERE! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I’VE JUST KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR AND RAN! HAHHAHAHAHA! LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU DONUT MESS WITH US WE WANT TO RUIN WIKIPEDIA AND YOU ARE IN OUR WAY!"
This homicidal door knocking imagery was a little more than I could take. I started shaking uncontrollably and passed out in my computer chair for G-d knows how long. I awoke to my dog licking my face, apparently empathizing with my stalking ordeal. I was still a bit woozy; nevertheless, I was determined to find out where these trolls were learning about my blog.
I knew that they had to learn about it in one of three places: The Wikipedia Ruiners, Wikipedia-Stalk, or Antifreecontent.net. I have all three of these sites blocked so that they are inaccessible from my home, so I had to access them elsewhere. These trolls review their referrer logs daily to find new targets of harassment and I was not about to be found out that easily. This in mind, I frantically loaded up my Volkswagen and put my dog in the back seat and we drove 5 hours away from my home to access a computer at a public library in an undisclosed location.
We arrived at the public library five hours and several bathroom breaks later. I ran inside and dove for a computer. The first site checked, Wikipedia-Stalk, showed its usual debauchery but nothing new. Antifreecontent.net had its disgusting smears against great editors, but nothing about my blog. That left one more site: Wikipedia Ruiners.
And there it was in all its glory--a thread started by none other than that disgusting troll dtobias. Other sociopaths commented and speculated on my identity with reckless abandon. One suggested that I am a fifteen year old and another pondered about what my first sexual experience was like and if I was sexy (it is written in code only decipherable by fellow trolls). Several suggested that this very serious blog was a joke, which is an attempt to try to minimize my serious criticisms and character assassinate me.
By this time, I was shouting at the computer screen, enraged by the gall of these stalkers. Then, the librarian had the nerve to ask me to leave because I was disturbing people. I looked her square in the eye and said “DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE ENABLING THESE TROLLS TO RUN RAMPANT ALL OVER WIKIPEDIA??!?! WHAT ARE YOU A PAID OVERSTOCK EMPLOYEE??” She again told me I was disturbing people, but I was the only one there so I called her a liar. Feeling a conflict arising, I walked towards my car. However, per WP:SPADE, I called her a troll under my breath as I left. She responded by stalking me outside and wrote down my license plate number, which she will no doubt send to Daniel Brandt. Now I know why librarians do not like Wikipedia. They’re all trolls and troll enablers.
I feel as if it will only be moments until my birth certificate, baby foot print and all, will be posted on Wikipedia Review. That will only be the beginning. Then a jilted lover of mine will show up on Wikipedia Review after googling my name and talk to the miscreants about my many sexual proclivities and inadequacies. Perhaps when they are bored with that they will use my social security number to get credit cards and buy odd sexual devices just to embarrass me. And on...And on...And on...
I share this story because I have had numerous health concerns ever since these cyber terrorists started in full force. My stomach churns day and night and I am suffering from a stomach ulcer. My dog and I just got back home from our 10 hour round trip and mental collapse is very probable. I am still agitated about the threat of pants violence and am contemplating whether or not I can handle another aggressive knock and run performed by a MyWikiBiz sockpuppet. At this point, I wonder if this blog is really worth devoting my time to, as I do not want my mental and physical health to suffer.
All great things must come to an end. We have had a great run, friends, and this blog has enlightened many. Keep up the good fight. Please follow our noble leaders Tony Sidaway and JzG, for they know the way, and they will take our Wiki out of the hands of eschatological cyber terrorists from Wikipedia Review. The silent majority stands with them.
The Wikimedia Foundation has left me for dead on the side of the road, bleeding out of every orifice as the cyber terrorists close in on me. Criminally insane scum bags have defeated Wikipedia and the Wiki Defender. Good luck to you all.
PS: I noticed that Tony accidentally removed my message of support without commenting. That sort of thing happens when you deal with trolls all day long and no one should read very much into that action.
17 March 2008
Up and coming stalker/troll Mackan79 is still up to his old stalking tricks. SlimVirgin had asked him to stop stalking her and Jayjg. Needless to say, he has not yet ceased his aggressive stalking campaign and Tony Sidaway, the moral compass of Wikipedia, was forced to make this comment on Mackan's talk page to counter his wild attacks. Mackan says “blah blah blah, I’m not a stalker look at how calm I am acting, blah, blah.” A typical response from an amoral troll.
This is a highly talented and skillful troll—if you don’t believe me just ask Georgewilliamherbert. Mackan79 was caught red handed socking/meatpuppeting for banned stalker Wordbomb and Georgewilliamherbert blocked him indefinitely (a soft punishment, I would have blocked him for life). However, the scoundrels came to Mackan’s rescue, shouting non-sensical things like “but this account was made before Wordbomb’s” and “He’s in a completely different location than Wordbomb.” Give me a break! As I noted in my previous post, I was born at night, but it wasn’t last night, trolls! Not surprisingly, he was unblocked by a Wikipedia Review partisan, Viridae. Let’s face it: Georgewilliamherbert, a highly respected admin, has done a lot of sock blocking; he’s not a newbie admin out on a blocking spree after his first six-pack. He got it right, but the trolls countered his moral and righteous block with moral depravity and disinformation.
Ohhh, but it does not end there: here is why the Super Troll was unblocked--Mackan79’s identity was verified by a troll enabling checkuser, Alison. MONGO raised the issue of Alison's troll enabling in the past and it was curiously swept under the rug. We can only assume that the trolls must have friends in high places. So, are we to believe that Alison actually verified Mackan's identity? Isn't it more likely that she is protecting a known troll? I, for one, find it hard to believe or trust any person that participates in that den of guttersnipes. Moreover, if I found that my own mother was participating in that forum, I am afraid she would never see my lovely Christmas cards again. But I digress...
Later, the trolls recruited an arbcom member to advocate destroying the evidence of this Wordbomb/Mackan connection. All I can say is thank G-d for small miracles, for SlimVirgin was online at that very time to stop this destruction of evidence and remind everyone of Mackan's egregious deeds. El troll extraordinare, Mackan, replied with this clever bit of trolling, but later removed it, presumably in fear of feeling the banhammer. This gutsy troll then went on to post on SlimVirgin's talk page, which she rightfully removed per WP:DONOTFEED.
In all of this darkness, there is light. And that light is Tony Sidaway (using his new and very creative username “Anticipation of A New Lover’s Arrival, The—very catchy). Tony, willing to take the point in the fight for good against evil, posted this to Mackan's talkpage, appropriately chastising Mackan for his blatant personal attacks. Predictably, the trolls came out of the wood work to assist a colleague in a time of need, led by none other than the President of the Stalking, Harassing, and Sexual Humiliation Committee, Dtobias. His smears were noted by Tony and he let him know that he was not going to put up with it. Finally, Tony was exhausted but not yet defeated by the trollery and chicanery that his righteous stand brought and he initiated an ArbCom to rid Wikipedia of this dastardly demon Wiki fiddler, Mackan. Unfortunately, it appears that the Arbcom in this instance is beholden to a certain group of wiki-villains and refused to accept the case to finally rid Wikipedia of a known stalker.
One day there shall be justice for these wiki-stalkers like Mackan79 and Dtobias, but for now we must accept the loss of the battle and continue the war. As long as we are lead by courageous and morally strident folks like Tony Sidaway, we are in good hands.
The Wiki Defender will be watching...
15 March 2008
So, you are probably all sitting there wondering who I am. Let's just say I am your friend. I am your friend if you aren't a lying stalking wikipedia troll that gets his kicks through harassment, stalking, and sexual humiliation of Wikipedia editors.
The title of this blog posting says it all. Any Wikipedia watcher knows (no, not the wikipedia-watch that I refuse to link to), The Wiki has been under attack from bad eggs and sleazeballs from every corner of the globe. This is evident in the so-called "scandals" that have occurred. The haranguing of Durova, accusations of impropriety directed at Great Wikipedians, and peaking in Jimmy Wales bedroom, has made it clear that we are a community under siege; finally, it was the the lynch mob that went after a fine editor of financial and Catholicism related articles that drove me over the edge. It is apparent that the troll memes are having an affect; they are even convincing overall right minded, moral, and prolific editors to assist them in their trolling games.
The kangaroo court was blood thirsty to see a fantastic editor hanged and was fanatical in its perverse quest to ruin Wikipedia. As Tony Sidaway's evidence proved conclusively, Mantanmoreland is a great editor and has contributed remarkably to The Project. It was a gruesome spectacle and a sad day for Wikipedians. The FUDers reign of terror is in full force.
Even if the trolls did not succeed in their blood lust, they have succeeded by spreading their rhetoric, disinformation, and propaganda to good but weak minded people. Their witch hunts are gaining in popularity. That is the reason I have taken the responsibility to counter these trolls.
Oh, and if you're wondering, I'm not about to reveal my Wikipedia ID so that some troll can call my sick grandmother at 4AM and ask her if her refrigerator is running. I was born at night, but it wasn't last night, trolls.
The Wiki Defender is watching.