25 March 2008


This just in to The Wiki Defender: Sue Gardner, executive director of the Wikimedia Foundation, is possibly a contracted Wikipedia Reuiner/Wikipedia-watch mole, out to decimate Wikipedia and enslave us as minions to Daniel Brandt.

I know what you are thinking. “This is a serious, world changing revelation, Wiki Defender! Where is your evidence?”

Well friend, take 2 milligrams of Xanax, wait an hour, and feast your eyes upon this diff. I webcited it here, just in case the trolls have also schemed their way into the ranks of oversight.

Most disturbing is that the edit is to the User space of Deputy Director, Erik Möller. What are we to infer from this? Is she daring our darling deputy to come after her, or G-d forbid, is Erik also a paid troll? Are they both in cahoots with Daniel Brandt, plotting day and night on how to demolish our worshipful wiki?

Right now, I want to purchase a one-way plane ticket to San Francisco and lead an anti-cyberstalking revolutionary mob of Concerned Wikipedians into the offices of the Wikimedia Foundation to demand answers. It is taking all the self-control and prescription medications I have to prevent me from doing so. I need your help.

Please alert all Great Wikipatriots of this diabolical plan, mastered by a motley crew of trolls and stalkers! Shout it from the rooftops; forward this breaking news to the various cyberstalking lists we maintain to fight the trolls--tell the Father, The Son, The holy spirit and the Blessed Virgin, so that we may get to the bottom of this highly unsettling development.

What? You think I am over reacting? Well I think you are cyber terrorist troglodyte! In the off chance that you think I am over reacting and you are not a Wikipedia Review ruffian, allow me to explain:

Needless to say, providing links to harassment is detrimental and we must not appear as if we condone these attacks. It is clearly a blockable offense. This is a no brainer. There is never, ever, any reason to link to a vile hate site such as the one Ms. Gardner linked to. It sends a message that users may harass and stalk other users, post libel about them, take them on pleasure trips without their consent, contact their employers to call them off sick from work, feed their dogs Ex-Lax, knock on their doors and run at 11:00PM, and call their sick grandmother at 3:00AM to ask her if she has Prince Albert in a can, so long as they do it off-wiki.

Is that your position, Sue?

Do not sit idly by as the highest ranks of the WMF are infiltrated. Sue Gardner, Wikipedia is not here to make people sad. These are treacherous wiki times that we are wiki living in; even those who appear to be allies are turning out to be possible trolls. Someone please explain this situation to me, so that I can start working on getting butt harp to GA status. Godspeed to you all.

Heavily medicated yet frantic,

The Wiki Defender

*contemplating the fact that my siblings may be on the payroll of Daniel Brandt *


Anonymous said...

Fear not, brave defender. You have simply misread the situation - while I'm sure it was quite distressing for her to have to type in a link to such an odious website (and now to be accused of having deliberately meant to promote it), it was surely only a necessary evil in order to make sure that the spam filter was adjusted properly in order to prevent anyone from ever linking to such an evil BADSITE again. Please have a little more faith in our Wikimedia masters.

A Wikipedian.

Anonymous said...

Here's my proscription for you — but always remember I am not a druggist. Do not take the RedEye to SF. Just click on YourOnlineYellow.Org and let your fingers do the stalking.

Anonymous said...

Is it possible that Sue Gardner has been infected by Spyware?

RDH(Ghost In The Machine) said...

This is your finest work yet Wiki Defender!

WELL DONE for uncovering this sinister new threat!

I have long expected that supposedly loyal SueSue was really part of larger Kovert Kanuck Konspiracy to usupate Wikiland from our Jimbo, drain him of his precious bodily fluids and rule over all the world's knowledge.

I didn't have any evidence until now, but thanks to your efforts and mad investigative skillz, I do.

They are attacking Jimbo through his one and only weakness-WOMEN! How else do you explain Rachel Marsden?! Or SueSue's poor defense of our King against the disgruntled heretic Danny Wool?!

These Kanuck succubii must be taught a lesson! we must preempt them before it's too late! As Nixon went into Cambodia and as our great President Bush (peace be upon him) went into Iraq, so we must go into Kanada and force these eskimo barbarians to submit to our greater Wiki-will!

Lead the way, my friend, and we shall follow!